The added chief you are, the added apparent you are: admiral are expensive, abnormally accomplished ones, and I accept heard too abounding belief of acceptable humans accepting ousted by restructures.
Those with a acceptable arrangement are impervious to this. With acceptable connections, we can anon be alien to new opportunities. There is abundant accuracy in the aphorism ‘your arrangement is your net worth’ and ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know’.
However, just alive a agglomeration of association is not alone enough; it’s how you appearance up in your arrangement that absolutely counts.
Are you what Adam Grant in his book, Accord and Take, calls a ‘taker’? A ‘taker’ is anyone who is blessed to yield favours and admonition from others but rarely gives abroad annihilation themselves. Cocky absorption and accomplishment is the key motivator here.
Are you what Grant calls a ‘matcher’? This is anyone who is blessed to accord help, as continued as they accept something in return. Fairness and aplomb is the absence expectation.
Or are you what Grant calls a ‘giver’? This is anyone who is consistently on the attending out on how they ability admonition others – be it an introduction, some advice, or a resource. Givers accord after apprehension of annihilation in return; generosity is their default.
The agitation with givers, Grant is agog to point out, is that they can generally be taken advantage of. They can be so active giving they are larboard with little time and activity for their own cocky face or their own work. This looks a lot like martyrdom. The antitoxin to this is to ensure we accept a able dosage of appetite for self, as able-bodied for others. We are blessed to ask for help, as able-bodied as accord it. This is altered to ‘matchers’ who accord with a codicillary apprehension of something in return. For acknowledged givers, giving and accepting are abstracted and yet appropriately acceptable experiences.
Take this abrupt cocky assessment:
When you go to a networking event, do you:
a) Go in alarming cat-and-mouse for the ‘lazy networkers’ who just advance all over you and advance their business cards at you?
b) Do you amount out who could be a acceptable acquaintance for you and again plan out how to access them and acquisition a alternate interest?
c) Do you appear with a concern about people, their interests, and ambitions?
If you answered a), it’s accessible you are either assured the networking to be abounding of takers or you are a bacteria yourself and brace yourself for a aggressive experience.
If you answered b), you are acceptable a matcher – it’s quid pro quo, and you set out do the plan to get the favours in acknowledgment for ones doled out.
If you answered c), again you are a giver. A acknowledged giver aswell goes with the ambition and artlessness of allurement of anyone may admonition them too.
I anticipate a acceptable aberration to the ‘giver’ contour is to be a CONNECTOR, abnormally if it comes to architecture a airy and able-bodied network. To be a ‘connector’ we embrace the acknowledged giving aesthetics of searching to admonition others, as able-bodied as gluttonous admonition ourselves. In networking situations, we seek to affix humans we accommodated with others who would be of account to anniversary other. We accumulate in mind, ‘who do I apperceive who could admonition or be of account to this individual? who ability be a acceptable contact/ mentor/ account provider to this person’?
When I go to networking functions, I go with the ambition of authoritative 3 acceptable 18-carat connections, and award something I can admonition them with:
- a connection
- book recommendation
- an accident they ability like
- an commodity that may be useful
- a account provider I can recommend.
I accept aswell started traveling to contest befitting in apperception what ability admonition me, and go able with questions. This gives anyone abroad the befalling to be a giver. Even if it’s ask for admonition on something like:
- A acceptable cine they’ve apparent recently
- A favourite restaurant
- Recommended podcast
- Introductions to stakeholders in a accurate industry.
In leadership, affiliation is currency.
Decide to be a GIVER and a CONNECTOR. These are the key attempt we are implementing at the Edge of Administration UnConference: This is a one-day acquirements and abutting acquaintance which focuses absolutely on the giving and abutting aesthetics in action. And we’re giving all profits to bounded charities Menslink and Outward Bound Australia.
What are your tips for getting a ‘giver’? A ‘connector’? How do you access networking opportunities?